La la la.... Last Friday of break... and... guess what...? I haven't seen Chris in.... ::counts:: 16 freaking days!! That just totally sucks!! ARGH! Anywho... so much to write about... lalala....

One thing... I spoke my mind... Part of me feels bad for what I said... but the other part of me is happy I spoke my mind. So, all I can say is that I'm happy for what I said... I mean, I'm giving her space.... and asked her to give me space. I mean, as far as I'm concerned... I just... I'm moving on. I know that I can pull thru. I mean, give me time & give her time... and one day, I'll see how I feel about it. Bottom line.

Argh... ::sighs:: so much I want to say... but I want to let him know first... but... argh. I guess my only choice is to do this. These last coupla months have been a whirlwind of... surprises, I guess. Finding out that he liked me after I realized around Thanksgiving that I liked him... that was totally unexpected. But, it was good that I let him know... but now... it's been almost a month since then... and... Guess what....? I haven't seen him since... the 18th of December. And today is the 3rd of January. That's more than two weeks that I haven't seen him. ARGH. God hates us. I'm damn sure of it now. But... ::looks @ sky:: I just.... can't say... I... Good things are starting to happen in my life. I'm actually wanting to drive now, so I'm leaving all that behind. Today, actually, Taylor made a joke about that crash, and I just wanted to kill him for it. He doesn't know what that felt like. Noone really does. But those who have read Fear kinda know... ::shrugs:: He just stepped over a line that he should have known not to cross... or something like that. Anyways, back to Chris... lalala... ::looks around:: God must hate me. He cursed me for eternity. God must hate me. Maybe you should pray for me...  Something like that. ::sighs:: So I just got off the phone w/ him... and he asked me to make up his mind about whether he should go to his dad's apartment for the rest of break. I didn't know what to tell him. I mean... being @ his dad's would be for 2 days... or so. And that would just mean that he wouldn't be on the puter or whatnot... or... argh. ::sighs:: Why can't I just say what I wanna say...? ::shakes head:: Dammit. I know that he wouldn't NOT listen. He's always listened. I mean.... ARGH. 'Nuff said on this subject... I'm just gonna go and I'll see what we say lata if he calls back... ::stares:: or I may be in bed... who knows..