kah2004's diary

kah2004's Diaryland Diary

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Movie & Feeling worthless

One DAMN GOOD reason to go to the doctors...

How can I cry when no tears come to my eyes? When inside I feel like breaking down but I keep going on with no rest? How is it that I think I have it all figured out... but then something happens that sends me reeling back over that cliff of pain? Why does life do that...?

Mom took me driving yesterday (Ana--> remind me to tell ya about the 3 mile gravel road that leads to near Cat & Andies...) and today we went into Bremerton so this weekend I drove everywhere except on the freeway...

Saw About Schmidt with the fam... when I'm w/ them... I'm happy and sad at the same time. I feel so small and insignificant when we're all together. I ask them a question and its brushed to the side. Every time this happens... a part of me dies... no tears fall... because I just push on... letting it wash away that part of me that I wish I could keep forever in me... knowing that I will forever be in pain... if I let them... but not having the courage to do anything about it...

Wanting what I can never have has trapped me for an eternity... but then I see that I'll never get that one true hope... so I'm left to fend off the memories of what will never be.

Here's another forward I got from my uncle that I thought I'd share... not really feeling many of these lil' sayings right now... but thought I'd share 'em nonetheless... ::sighs::

Boogie Through Life!

Don't cry because its over,
smile because it happened.

Pain and Suffering is inevitable
but Misery is optional.

Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called: The Present.

A good exercise for the heart is to
bend down and help another up.

Life is what you make of it...
kinda like Play-Doh

The bubbling brook would lose its song
if you removed the rocks.

Happiness comes through doors
you didn't even know you left open.

Everything is always okay in the end,
if it's not, then it's not the end.

If all my friends jumped off a cliff,
I wouldn't jump with them.
I would be at the bottom to catch them.

A girl on the street is pointing up at the sky.
'Look an Angel!' she yells.
Passerby laugh, 'You fool, that is only a cloud.'
How wonderful it would be to see Angels
where there are are only clouds. How sad it would be
to see clouds where there are Angels.

Here is a test to find whether your
mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.

So be happy!
Don't let anything burst your balloon!
Boogie through life!

Latas...
KAH
-Playmate Of The Year-

8:08 PM - 03.09.03 Sunday

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