kah2004's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you I am home alone and its a quarter to 9. Thinking about calling Ana... I'm not sure tho. Mom went to pick up Linda from the ferry & then they're going to Heronswood. I swear that nursery has my college tuition spent on it. Dad went swimming like usual and Mom said he's looking to buy a new lawnmower so should be home around 10. I want to leave again. Mom says I can clean her car, it being "sunny" out and all. Sun means diddly-shit. It's prolly cold out, too. Thanks Ana... for last nite. Just what the doctor ordered. Well... just what I needed, actually. Just a couple hours hanging w/ you two. "We're at Starbucks." You just realize that? The more time I spend with him... the more I'm happy for you guys. "How did I end up with you." "that a good question"... hehe... too funny. I'm gonna be sure to call him the next time I have an empty house all day. I don't want to be home right now. I'm in my PJs... should I give you a call, Ana? I don't know... I wrote out an email... but saved it as a draft. Don't know if I should send it. It seems that my emails are read but not replied to as of late. That's never fun. I know I can talk... but not getting a reply back makes me wonder if... I think I'll send the email. I'll never know unless I do so, right...? And... as of late... I've been taking little chances and saying things I otherwise wouldn't say. I've been sneezing nonstop since practice yesterday. Ana knows. I was having too much fun with that scooter... not to mention Jay and that lil' golf kit... heeheehee "This putter is right handed-- I can't put right handed-- I'm left handed!" Funny kid you are... and fun to hang out with. Wonder what Alex thinks of my lil' call last nite. I mean... those play sets were just screaming to be taken... them just sitting there not tied down or chained down at all... so I thought of Cody & Alex and since there was no answer @ Cody's... tried Alex's and sur 'nuff... they were going bowling. Should have had Ana swing by there... that would have been fun. Oh well. We should get ppl together tonite, guys. But as Jay said... he enjoys all the drama. I--- I need to do that. I need to laugh more at those minor scwabbles and not take it so fucking seriously. HOLY SHIT THAT HURT!! My ankles just popped in a not so good way. Ooooo.... fuck that hurt! Ouch! Enough of me whining... I'm doing too much thinking lately. I wanna do something with Kristi. I'm gonna call her in a lil' while. When I called her before, Jaron said I had just missed her. I need to... send that email. I'm doing that and now it's done; sent. No turning back now. I need to... STOP SNEEZING!!!! SHEESH!! That's all my day's been... lounging around in my new PJ pants (white w/big roses) and doing the SATs Registration... shit that's long! I need to start thinking about my future again. I haven't allowed myself to think about that b/c of the issues surrounding it. I want to... not be so tired of it all... I want to be strong and to know that I will prevail... but all I have is what Laughlin told me... "You know that I'd doing anything to help you, right?" Just knowing I have that support... she's like the mother I don't have... she care about me and respects me and always has my best interests at heart. I truly don't know where I'd be without her. B/c of her, I started writing. B/c of an assignment she gave, I realized my talent for writing. I will always thank her for that. She... is someone I know I can go to when all else seems to be breaking around me. I went to her when it seemed all else was breaking around me. I've found my guiding light. It's been right in front of me the whole time... but at that same time... I always had a couple other guiding lights... they just weren't bright enough. Now... I see what I need... and I think I can talk that step to get it... but I'm still unsure as hell as to what to do next. I can go on and on and on... 8:31 AM - 04.04.03 Friday ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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