kah2004's Diaryland
Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An entry turned prose
11.22.2010 Monday -- PROSE
"Its been, I don't know, a long time, I guess. The days don't really pass in numbers any more, only in memories. The last time we kissed, the last time we laughed, the last time we held each other. Those are the things that pass the time for me, the things that get the days going by.
One day, so long ago now, it seems, I met someone. And this person, they changed my life, in so many ways. But now, this someone, they pass away the days, the nights, like petals floating away on the wind. Each momemt passes and each memory gets fainter."
The light is chased along the walls, the days growing shorter, the shadows growing longer. Soon, the nights fill every hour, every moment as she stares upwards towards the ceiling, memories floating through the air of another time.
Its funny, as she lies there, the outside world goes on, the evening turning into dusk as the sunset paints its rapture across the skies, the temperature drops as the moonlight shines over the white crisp world below. Inside, she lies, curled up in a blanket from another time, the tan warmth keeping the chill at bay. Inside, she lies, blanketed by another time, another day, another night, the memories washing over her from so long ago. Such an innocence, these memories hold, filling her with the sadness that they are just that, memories of long ago.
Rolling onto her right side, she stares at the walls surrounding her, mostly the same, but more organized. The light shines lightly across the walls, sprinkling across the open, organized mess she surrounds herself with. A structure all its own, each part in its place, surrounded by bits and pieces of unorganized mess. But, all at the same time it makes sense to her.
Stretching, she sits up and runs her hands through her hair, shoulder length, messy from her french braid she twined it in after her shower last night. Attempting to grow it out, lately she has been bombarded with images of the short pixie cut she loves most of the time... but in at attempt to find meaning in her life, she has made the decision a year previously to grow it out and donate it. Now, as the static attacks her hair and makes it cling to her lashes, she is starting to regret that decision. How silly, hair as a meaning? But, then again, it had always been that way in her life... a sign of independence and strength.
Stretching her shoulders upwards, she rotates her neck as she takes in her room, her thoughts scattered by the memories that surround her. There, the lily hanging from the wall that came from many nights of closing at her old job -- there, the pint glass from a night of drunken debauchery with a friend -- and there, hidden in the dark, out of sight, out of mind were the memories that still haunted her, the scent of lavendar, the kiss of desires shared.
Slipping her feet into her fleece slippers, she pads across the room, opening the door as she moves into the kitchen. Staring around at the clean counters, she settles her attention on the fridge as she swings the door open, searching for... anything.
Reaching inside, she pulls out a pack of rice pudding, comfort food is always the answer. Turning, she opens a drawer and pulls out a spoon, turning she opens the rice pudding as she turns out the light and pads back into her room, closing the door behind her.
"Is this really all there is to life, stuck inside, snow on the ground, freezing temperatures and all alone..." Shaking her head, she sighs as she again gives into the emptiness. "And all I can think of is the snow covered ground, heat and passion... its true, too, cold nights curled up in bed, entwined and no other thoughts of importance. Ugh, I need a life..." Turning around in a circle, she looks through the facets of her life, all the bits and pieces she surrounds herself with. All the bits and pieces she uses to distract herself. Sighing, she stretches and reaches to the floor as she begins her workout, the only thing to distract her mind in the restless nights she succombs to.
4:09 PM - 11.22.10 Monday
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
previous - next
|
|
|
|
|
|