kah2004's Diaryland Diary

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Wish upon a star

God, I feel so... helpless and alone. I thought, for sure, this past year would have been full of new friendships and connections but here it is, almost another new year's day and...

I spend my days surrounded by so many people, but at the end of the day, I'm still alone. Everything's so superficial and days go by before people actually ask me how I am sometimes. I feel like a robot sometimes for the lack of interaction. All around me are people living their lives yet when I try to be a part... it always falls through.

I guess I don't know how to make friends or else am not that interesting of a person. If anything, I spent more of this past year ending friendships than making them and...

I really don't know how to change it. I don't want to live with people, just want to be around people. I don't want to have to go to my favorite bar just to be around people who sorta have an interest in me. And, even then, no one's really talking to me as is.


Am I really doomed to a life of just listening to every one else talking? I mean, its how I pretty much spent the majority of my childhood, being shy, then later teenage years being surrounded by such strong personalities.

I wish I knew how to make friends anymore.

I wish people would actually reply when I text them, call me back when I call them, want to actually do things with me, when I ask...

I wish... I wish... I wish...

That's all I do anymore...

7:08 PM - 12.29.12 Saturday

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