kah2004's Diaryland Diary

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Just.... something that needs to be said....

There are some many things that I cannot even begin to convey to y'all.... things that I feel that I wish y'all could understand... so these last few days... I've taken it upon myself to find a place where ppl would understand what I speak of... and I found those places here: adoptees & adopted_kids

There's so many things I wish I could tell you guys, that I wish I could make you understand... but in the end, I cannot adequately find the words to make you understand. I really wish I could... but I just can't. The best I can do is with this poem I just wrote. I am adopted, and that makes my outlook on life a bit different, as well as my life, different than yours. There's so many emotions that I keep hidden on a regular basis... and its about damn time I started to voice those emotions. Through those communities I have started to do such... & eventually I hope to find/start something here on campus of a similar aspect... but until then... I will continue to go there. I know its probably hard to hear that as my friends I cannot turn to you... but... its just... I feel like in the end, I cannot completely tell you how I am feeling.

I'm sorry guys.... but sometimes, you just need to find help elsewhere. Here's a poem I just wrote that may or may not help. *shrugs* Its the best I can do. Thanks y'all... for everything that you do. I may not say it enough.... but I do love ya.
College Girl

"I try..." --11.08.04 Monday--
I try to make them understand,
These things I cannot say;
I try to make them feel the things,
I feel deep down each day;
I try to let them know I'm here,
To be their shoulder to cry on;
But in the end I wonder when,
I'll be able to cry on theirs.

I try to let them see my heart,
As it beats alone each day;
I try to convey of this art,
I keep inside away;
I try to forget the pain I feel,
Away alone locked today;
But in the end I cannot undo,
The things I feel I cannot get through.

I try to explain this feeling of loss,
I feel everyday without fail;
I try to convey the worries I hold,
Silently tightly untold everyday;
I try to forget the pain I feel,
Whenever I am alone....
But the things I cannot convey,
Will one day take me to they.

9:09 AM - 11.08.04 Monday

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