kah2004's Diaryland Diary

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cavanaugh park and the astronaut and globes & maps

This'll prolly be my last entry for who knows how long... why, you ask...? B/c... I was happily on the computer, blasting Linkin Park's Meteora and just got down talking to ppls and low and behold... the computer FRIED ITSELF!! I'd been going upstairs and the puter was off and now... it's fried and I'm CUT OFF!!

i've been sleeping with ghosts * i've been watching stars * crawling out of the sky * and i've been hoping * i'm close to the space man movies * i call my life ** and i've been climbing ladders through time * i've got tunnel vision * but i'm doing fine * and i've been * watching stars coming off of the wall * and maybe if i'm lucky i can catch them * before you fall * and you are not alone ** calling out to the astronaut * i need some of what you've got * i need to be high * crawling out of the world she brought * calling out to the astronaut * i need to be high ** and i've been holding this microphone * and i've been channeling out * but i think we're alone * and i've got platinum vision * innocent for the touch * i've got you to propel me * but i still need so much * not to be alone * --"the astronaut" something corporate--

a lot of things have happened... but at the same time... nothing has.

Karen came over on Friday & stayed 'til Sunday... how was seeing your family go, girl?

Caity & Andie moved on Friday... I originally couldn't help, couldn't call... then Karen showed up... haha it was a blast chica! still gotta take the movie back!! hehe...

Gonna go call the DOL or DMV or whatever it's called so I can make an appt **HOPEFULLY** for Thursday and GET MY LICENSE!!! hehehe.... I hope I do... b/c then... 6 months from then will be V-day and I **HOPEFULLY** will be spending it w/ my b/f!!haha... he just doesn't know it yet... right Karen? hehehe... oh the plans we make...

bought Leaving Throught The Window by Something Corporate... haha as it turns out, Ana's had that for a year!! hehe... and she quoted their song on her last entry.... lol that too funny!!

at cavanaugh park * where i used to sit * all alone in the dark * and dream about things * that i cannot say * you always said destiny* would blow me away * and nothing's gonna blow me away ** at cavanaugh park * where you used to take me * to play in the sand * and said to me, "son, one day you'll be a man. * "and men can do terrible things." * yes they can ** and there was never any place * for someone like me to be * totally happy * i'm running out of clock and that * ain't a shock * some things never do change * never do change ** at cavanaugh park * we used to get high * watching teams as they fought * they loved my friend Adam * but he always got caught * man, that kid made fucking up look cool * aren't we all so cool now? No ** and there was never any place * for someone like me to be * totally happy * i'm running out of clock and that * ain't a shock * some things never do change * never do change ** never do change * never do change * never do change ** at cavanaugh park * where i used to think * that my life would be good * and i would do things * that i thought that i should * and no one's going to tear me down * --"cavanaugh park" something corporate--

anywho... I'm gonna call Alex, fo' sho', and talk to him... get some things off my chest...

the other nite after dinner, dad gave me this whole lecture about college and senior year and how i need to prove to him that it'll be worth his while spending all the college money on me.... that i need to work hard, etc...

so i've been thinking about it... and i've decided that i wanna go to OC to two years to prove to my dad that it'll be worth his time to spend college $$$ on me, specially w/ Taylor going to UW & Dylan @ OC... i know i DON'T wanna go to UW at all... i'm thinking maybe Central or something... maybe Oregon college... maybe I'll follow Karen to Iowa... who knows...

anywho... i think mom's back from her walk so i'm gonna go for now... i gotta call the dol or dmv or whatever and call alex... and not to mention call Jess & Karissa and get a meeting together and then call Ana.... *sigh* time to get organized!!

light breaks underneath a heavy door * and i try to keep myself awake * fall all around us on our hotel floor *and you think that you've made a mistake *and there's a pain in my stomach from another sleepless binge *and i struggled to get myself up again ** i wanna hang onto something * that won't break away or fall apart * like the pieces of my heart ** and globes and maps are all around me now * i wanna feel you breathe me * globes and maps I see surround you here * why won't you believe me? * globes and maps they charter your way back home * do you wanna leave or somethin? ** and dreams came around you in a hazy rain * you opened your mouth wide to feel them fall * and I write a letter, from a one-way train * but i don't think you'll read it at all * --"globes & maps" something corporate--

11:11 AM - 08.12.03 Tuesday

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