kah2004's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I really sholdn't be surprised... All I want is to be able to say that through thick and thin, I know I can count on them, her, him, us. Time and time again, life has taken that relationship away. Now, I'm so guarded, even with those I trust, I don't know what to do. I want to meet new people and make friends and experience life with someone... But I'm left alone, time and time again. I was walking around after my interview, took myself out to eat... and the entire time I felt starved for attention, desperate to share my stories with another person. Desperate to have another person. These days, everything I do is alone. I live alone, I sleep alone, I eat alone, I go on errand runs alone, I put myself out there and ask if I can do things for others, and... At the end of the day I am still alone. A year ago, I thought for sure I had finally mastered that, and was looking forward to being able to share my life and days and things with HIM. Now... I'm back to where I always end up. I'm not alone by choice, I just always end up with this result. I want to make friends, to fall in love, to be loved... But how do I do that if everything always falls apart and leaves me alone?
maybe it's time I do what I've been saying I was going to do for always. Disappear. 7:11 PM - 05.21.11 Saturday ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||