kah2004's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A New Day I somehow, knew this would happen. My breakdown Sunday morning was a catharsis as I came to terms that this is over. I feel strangely calm because I have no regrets and I realize that if there is any future in it then growth must happen on both ends. I never realized that I could be so sure about what I want. When it all comes boiling down, I am indeed alone and only when my abandonment issues come bubbling to the services do I let myself feel hurt. But this decision, this had to be their's to make. I made my choice on New Year's and I now know more of what I am seeking. My true heart's desire is still the same, and only time will tell. That's really what is needed. Time to be alone, aware, time to heal. I do not know where I will be in ten years, and that is okay. Will I still be single? I don't know and I am not truly worries. Cats always land on their feet and I am proven time and time again that I can get through anything. As I walk to my bus stop this morning, the sun is slowly burning off the fog from the hills and the water. The air holds a chill of last night's cold embrace and the earth around me is slowly awakening. I have loved and I have lost. I have no regrets and will continue my journey through life. Someday I hope our paths entwine again and I hope to someday enjoy the company of another. To the serenade of Nuttin' But Stringz's songs "Broken Sorrow" and "Thunder," I continue on my path, not frightened but hopeful of whatever my future brings. 6:09 AM - 07.19.11 Tuesday ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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